Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Silly me!

I usually write about the things my kids do and say.  Is it fair to point out their funny things and not blab to the world when I do something stupid?  I guess not.  So here it is...I'm going to tattle on myself.

One month ago I had the worst case of poison ivy EVER!  I can honestly say that I looked like a burn victim and I have the scars to prove it.  When you have poison ivy, everyone and their dog has the magic remedy that they want to tell you about.  When you're that miserable you are willing to try anything.  My friend, Andrea, told me that her husband uses a mouthwash called Dr. Tichenor's to dry up his poison ivy.  Somehow, I forgot all about it.  Yesterday, I was starting to think that I was having another reaction to the nasty little plant.  Strange enough, Andrea & her husband drove by while we were outside and they reminded me about the mouthwash.  Later we went to the store and I got some of the magic mouthwash to test their remedy.  When we got home I went into the bathroom and poured some on a cotton ball and started dabbing at the suspected areas.  After I was done, I thought that I would try to gargle some and see how it was as a mouthwash...not a poison ivy get rid'er thing.  I poured some in the cup and proceeded to put it in my mouth.  My first thought was, "Oh, it kind of burns like Listerine."  My second thought was, "Push through the burn.  You can do it!"  My third thought was, "Oh my gosh!!! I've got to get this liquid fire out of my mouth!  Spit!!!!!!"  Something that I learned very quickly was that in order to spit you have to be able to take a breath.  In order to take a breath you have to get Dr. Tichenor's out of your mouth!  All I could do was open my mouth and let it drip out.  Every time I would gasp for air it sent a burning peppermint sensation down into my lungs. I then made a bowl with my hands and started pouring water in my mouth to swish and spit with.  My lips and tongue automatically began to temporarily swell and I thought my esophagus was closing in.  I felt like a fire breathing dragon.  James happened to walk in and in between tear filled laughter I tried to tell him what happened.  My mouth felt like I had taken a drink of overwhelmingly hot coffee and burnt all of my skin and taste-buds off.  I then grabbed the Dr. Tichenor's bottle and started looking at the directions.  In capitalized red letters it says, "DO NOT USE FULL-STRENGTH AS MOUTHWASH"  What?!  "Dilute with 5 parts water..."  Oh crap.  I guess I should just be glad I still have teeth after that episode!  

For those of you wondering, the suspected areas of poison ivy aren't doing any itching this morning.  Maybe it works! 

1 comment:

  1. Haley - perhaps we should re-name you Lucy! Sounds like a great skit for a sit-com! - Arthur


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